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Post by Aido on Jun 9, 2005 16:19:20 GMT -5
Right Said Aido.
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Post by Wonder if on Jun 9, 2005 16:22:28 GMT -5
Wonder if he has one of those Japanese toilets that is just a hole in the ground and thats the pose he strikes first thing every morning? Kind of hard to read the newspaper that way I'd say though. Probably has to nail the paper to the wall in front of him for easier reading.
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AngryBarryImpersonator
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Post by AngryBarryImpersonator on Jun 9, 2005 16:51:00 GMT -5
Maybe it's a frustrated sitting on Japanese toilet look because he hasn't got the latest match reports to nail to the wall while having a bit of Aido time.
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Post by Mayor Quimby on Jun 9, 2005 17:14:46 GMT -5
Be it known from this day forward that taking a shite is now called taking an Aido
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Post by aido on Jun 9, 2005 19:46:12 GMT -5
that's nice.
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Post by AngryBarry on Jun 10, 2005 14:55:18 GMT -5
If one of you cunts are going to try and impersonate me then at least use proper English. That last collaboration of words barely made sense...Twat!
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AngryBarryImpersonator Editor
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Post by AngryBarryImpersonator Editor on Jun 10, 2005 15:04:05 GMT -5
Adding comma's for the dyslexic reader:
Maybe it's a frustrated, sitting on Japanese toilet, look, because he hasn't got the latest match reports to nail to the wall, while having a bit of Aido time.
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Post by Player profiles on Jun 27, 2005 11:15:08 GMT -5
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Post by Bring in BK on Jun 27, 2005 11:24:06 GMT -5
i say bring in BK to do our site - He has done a way better job on that site that our lads have on ours... Look match reports up the day after the game and everything..
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Post by Old Big Ears on Jul 15, 2005 8:31:01 GMT -5
A little joke that i personalised for the newly married member of the team enjoy Johnny!
A few years ago when we won the treble, you probably all saw the story that did the rounds about little Johnny asking his dad to tell him all about the Liverpool treble of 2001. Well I’ve decided to bring the story up to date... The year is 2015 and little red scum supporter Roy is talking to his Utd Soccer ball franchise supporter Dad Johnny.
SON “Dad, my mates in school told me that Liverpool won the European Cup for the 5th time in 2005 – are they right dad?
DAD “Yes son, it’s true, but they were dead lucky son, all the way through the tournamentâ€
SON “Why dad?â€
DAD “Well in the group stages …..â€
SON “What dad, did they have a team from Azerbaijan, Israel, and Wales in their group?â€
DAD “Well no, they had Monaco, Deportivo la Coruna, and Olympiakosâ€
SON “Well they still sound like 3 easy teams to me dadâ€
DAD “Actually Monaco reached the final the year before, Olympiakos had won their league 7 times out of the previous 8 seasons, and Deportivo finished above the galacticos of Real Madrid in their leagueâ€.
SON “Jeez dad, that sounds like quite a difficult group thenâ€.
DAD “yeh I suppose your right son, but they were still lucky – it took a mishit shot by Gerrard against Olympiakos to get throughâ€.
SON “oh is that the goal were your hero Andy Gray goes berserk shouting “you beauty, you beauty, what a hit son, what a hit!!!!â€
DAD “yes son it isâ€
SON “oh ok. Well what happened in the last 16 dad, who did they draw?â€
DAD “Bayer Leverkusenâ€
SON “Bayer who?â€
DAD “Exactly son, but they had beaten Real Madrid 3-0 at home, and won their group that included Dinamo Kiev and Roma too.â€
SON “bloody hell dad, they sound goodâ€.
DAD “yes, I suppose you’re right sonâ€
SON “so did they win on away goals or somethingâ€
DAD â€errrrr, no, they won both legs 3-1 eachâ€
SON “oh – well who next then dadâ€
DAD “Juventusâ€
SON “How the f#ck did they get past them Dad?â€
DAD “Well they did – they won 2-1 at home, and cruised to a 0-0 away draw without Juve having hardly any chancesâ€.
SON “were Juve sh#t at that time – had all their decent players gone or something?â€
DAD “well actually they still had players like Del Piero, Nedved, Ibrahimovic, Thuram, and Buffon in the side. And they won Serie A a few weeks later.â€
SON “wow, they beat the Italian champions elect – which piss easy team did they get in the semi then?â€
DAD “Chelseaâ€
SON “Chelsea – for f#cks sake – what a piss easy draw – they’ve won nothing, Everton have won more than themâ€.
DAD “well that season they won the Premiership and League Cup but the Red shite didn’t let them score in 180 minutes of footballâ€
SON “Jesus Christ – so Liverpool beat the English Champions elect tooâ€
DAD “yes son, they bloody well didâ€.
SON “so after all that I suppose all the good teams had been knocked outâ€
DAD “not quite son, AC Milan awaited them in the finalâ€
SON “no way – aren’t they the 2nd most successful team in the competition’s history And they knocked us out without conceeding a goal at a time when you told me that we had the best attack in Europe!
DAD “yes son they are, and yes they did!â€
SON “so were Liverpool lucky because Milan had all their good players out with injuriesâ€
DAD “no – they had Shevchenko, Crespo, Maldini, Nesta, Cafu, Kaka, Stam, Dida, Gattuso, Pirlo, and Seedorfâ€.
SON “your ‘avin a laffâ€
DAD “it gets worse son, Milan were cruising 3-0 up at half-time and I was full of joy txting one of the lads, giving him a good slaggin I was!â€.
SON “what happened, did they have 3 men sent off in the second half – how did Liverpool get back into the game?â€
DAD “no, Milan had no men sent off, the Red shite scored 3 goals in 6 minutesâ€
SON “against the best defence in Europeâ€
DAD “yes!!!, against the best defence in Europeâ€
SON “so what happened next - extra time?â€
DAD “yes son, and Dudek made the luckiest save ever to stop a Shevchenko shot from a yardâ€
SON “why was it lucky dad – did it hit him on the arse, nose, shoulder or somethingâ€
DAD “no son, his handâ€
SON “well aren’t goalies meant to save shots with their handsâ€
DAD “yeah but that’s besides the pointâ€
SON “then whatâ€
DAD “penalties!â€
SON “English teams are crap at penaltiesâ€
DAD “not this f#ckin time they weren’t – they only missed one. And that’s how Liverpool became the luckiest team to win the European Cupâ€.
SON “but I bet when they brought the cup home there was hardly anyone to watch as all Liverpool fans live anywhere but Liverpool you say. How many was there, 5,,000 or so?â€
DAD “1 million people lined the streetsâ€.
SON â€so let’s get this straight dad – Liverpool had 3 good teams in their group, they then knocked out a team who had beaten Real Madrid 3-0, they then knocked out the future Serie A champions, then knocked out the future Premiership champions, before coming back from 3-0 down to beat the 2nd most successful club in Europe. And then the whole population of Liverpool came out to welcome them home!!!!
DAD “that about sums it up sonâ€
SON “dad?â€
DAD “yes sonâ€
SON “can I have a Liverpool shirt for my birthday next week, and can you stop calling me Roy – I’m Stevie from now onâ€
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Post by Jaysus on Jul 15, 2005 9:47:35 GMT -5
If ever there was an illustration of there being too many games in the champions league that ungodly long joke was it, I gave up somewhere before the last 16.
You get the curley finger for that.
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Post by Smells like Pykey on Jul 15, 2005 10:32:00 GMT -5
God forbid he would put as much energy into updating the fuckin website and not modifying old, long jokes
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Post by TheBusbyBoy on Aug 7, 2005 14:14:44 GMT -5
Great line from a Limerick blog I read:
There’s been a spate of shootings on the south side of the city in the past few days. There were shootings in the Ballinacurra-Weston area on Friday, Sunday and early Monday morning. No one has been injured so far and Gardai blame ‘a localised feud between rival factions’. The Gardai did seize several baseball bats in the area, however, so it looks like this week's Ballinacurra-Weston Braves game is off.
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Post by AngryBarry on Sept 19, 2005 11:40:41 GMT -5
A guy walks into the local welfare office, marches straight up to the counter and says, "Hi...You know, I just HATE drawing welfare.. I'd really rather have a job."
The social worker behind the counter says, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You will have to satisfy her sexual urges. You'll have a two-bedroom apartment above the garage. The starting salary is $200,000 a year".
The guy says, "You're bullshittin' me!"
The social worker says, "Yeah, well... you started it.
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Been in Dublin too long
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Post by Been in Dublin too long on Sept 26, 2005 14:22:46 GMT -5
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